I don't wonder why I can't sleep. Tomorrow I go to the big city with a couple of friends to sit around the hospital with some more friends while a very good friend fights for her life. Right now I have no doubt that she will win. Having a 6 way heart bi-pass means that she has been in this fight for quite some time. My heart aches for her and her family. Yesterday she told me that she was fine with all of this. She said that she was ready to either wake up after the surgery or wake up in the new world. Whatever happens she is okay with it. I'm opting for the former cause I'm not ready to be here without her. We need her to help clean up the earth after Armageddon because without her touch it just wouldn't be as beautiful. Prayers, prayers, prayers.
A part of my heart is on the other side of the country with the family of my niece's daughter. Walt's sister's daughter's daughter. Don't try to figure it out. Just know that she is my daughter's age. To young to be on life support because of a heart attack. I haven't seen any of the family for years, but I still feel so close to all of them because of the things we shared in the past. More prayers, prayers, prayers.
This Friday my daughter goes into the hospital for a hysterectomy. I'm actually happy for her because I know it will help her to feel better. I'm not happy that it takes a surgery to do that. The anxiety of it all and more prayers, prayers, prayers.
I'm still trying to recover from the loss of a very good friend. Only a few weeks ago we were listening to her laugh and now nothing. She did leave behind a beautiful family and a legacy of strength and determination. She will never be forgotten. Death takes the life not the relationship. And more prayers, prayers, prayers for those who are suffering her lose. That would be me too.
Another friend in Southern California just underwent a major surgery by donating her kidney to her friend. What a selfless act of kindness. She is doing well now, but I hope she knows how many prayers, prayers, prayers went up for her during this scary time.
There is so much more I could write down, but I think we are all just depressed enough right now. These are just some of the things that are effecting my sleep, but I know for a fact that each of you are also facing things that effect yours. They don't have to be huge like surgery. Whatever causes us anxiety is ours to deal with and it makes life a little more difficult.
This Monday night, those of us who can, will go to the Kingdom Hall to celebrate the death of Jesus Christ. Yes, celebrate. The most precious gift given to us by our god Jehovah was a death. It will be the first time I have done this without my Walt. I will be more thankful this year. Because of that death my Walt and Judy and all who have died can live again.
I love you all and again thank you for all of the prayers that have gotten me through the anxieties of life.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Keeping Busy
I was answering an email from a friend with an update on what I'd been up to. When I wrote it all down I was exhausted. I've been told that when you have a drastic change in your life you need to fill the void with other things. Hope I haven't over done the filling.
I'm cooking a meal for an older couple on Monday and Tuesday nights. Every other Wednesday we have "Soup Day" here at the house at noon after service. I still work at the restaurant on Thursday and Friday. I will start this Thursday night with a "Family bible study" night for friends who don't have a family. Turns out there are a lot of us. Weekends are always filled with service and family. Madison and I are trying to learn Spanish. If you ever want to feel really "brainless" try learning a foreign language.
With the weather getting better that means the yard has to be cleaned up. Started cleaning out the pond in the back yard. I need to change the filter for the fountain. That's at the bottom and that is filled with old mucky water and everything that accumulated during the winter. Yuk. Need to clean out the chicken coop. Another Yuk. It will all be worth it in the end. I love to hear the water in the fountain when the doors are open with the good weather. My chickens are my joy. Especially Dusty. She is a little black banty with feathers on her feet (hence, Dusty=dusters on feet-get it?). The other girls are so much bigger so they pick on her. She has become very attached to me and actually likes to be held and petted. I love that.
I'm sure that all of you find that every day brings its own challenges. Right now writing this is not coming as easy as it usually does so I am going to stop. I hope all of you have a wonderful week.
I'm cooking a meal for an older couple on Monday and Tuesday nights. Every other Wednesday we have "Soup Day" here at the house at noon after service. I still work at the restaurant on Thursday and Friday. I will start this Thursday night with a "Family bible study" night for friends who don't have a family. Turns out there are a lot of us. Weekends are always filled with service and family. Madison and I are trying to learn Spanish. If you ever want to feel really "brainless" try learning a foreign language.
With the weather getting better that means the yard has to be cleaned up. Started cleaning out the pond in the back yard. I need to change the filter for the fountain. That's at the bottom and that is filled with old mucky water and everything that accumulated during the winter. Yuk. Need to clean out the chicken coop. Another Yuk. It will all be worth it in the end. I love to hear the water in the fountain when the doors are open with the good weather. My chickens are my joy. Especially Dusty. She is a little black banty with feathers on her feet (hence, Dusty=dusters on feet-get it?). The other girls are so much bigger so they pick on her. She has become very attached to me and actually likes to be held and petted. I love that.
I'm sure that all of you find that every day brings its own challenges. Right now writing this is not coming as easy as it usually does so I am going to stop. I hope all of you have a wonderful week.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
You People Are Nuts
Aren't we a funny species? At least I think so. We are so curious about everything, especially what the other guy is doing. I think that is why social media is so big. I check in every day (sometimes many times in a day) to see who is doing what. Maybe they went to dinner or their kid did something funny or they are planning their next vacation. It doesn't matter. I like knowing. So here's the really strange thing. You are all just like me because you are reading this. Ha!
I like writing down my thoughts. It's therapy for me. I haven't done it for months but figured I better do something because I have replaced this therapy with shopping therapy. Before I talk about that I need to say that "I'm okay". It's my pat answer to "How are you doing"? I miss my Walt. Sometimes more than others but I just can't be sad. We had so many wonderful years that we might not have had if we believed what all the doctors said all of the time. I feed on the memories and move on.
Shopping therapy. It's so wonderful. Only problem is you have to have money. I wiggle around that pretty good. The most fun for me is the process more than the reward. Oh don't get me wrong. When I go to the post office and there is a key in my box to pick up that package or there is something on my doorstep when I get home or the doorbell rings and I don't have to talk to the UPS guy cause he's already back in his truck driving away I'm excited, but it's the shopping part that thrills me. (Thrill...that's a funny word).
Anyway, I decide I need something and it's on. Yes, need. Want doesn't factor in here or I would have to commit myself cause I want everything. Example: I needed a cover for my cell phone. They are outrageous at any store in town so Amazon here I come. I check out everything that fits my needs. Read the reviews, check out the rating on the seller, pick a color, pick the best price then click out of there. I have two options then. I can click on Ebates then back on to Amazon and buy my choice or click on MyPoints and back on Amazon. Now I have all of these things to occupy my time with this one little purchase. I check my email to see that Amazon got my order. They give me a tracking number and everyday I can see where my little package is. I check Ebates to see that they credited my "cash back" to my account or MyPoints to see if they gave me the points for my purchase. Check my PayPal account to see if they paid for my purchase. See? This is how you get through the lonely hours. With so much to do how can you have time to think about anything else. Shopping therapy in my world. Not to mention Infomercials!!!! I needed a vacuum cleaner. It took me weeks of research, but settled on the one on the late night TV. I waited until they offered extra gadgets for "free with your purchase today only" (yea right, same thing the next day) and only 3 easy payments. Put those payments in the budget and I love my new vacuum. Well, as much as you can love a vacuum.
So, vacuum, phone cover, toaster oven, tablet cover, vitamins, crepe maker, deep fryer, etc. later here I am bugging you again. I'm not watching infomercials or perusing Amazon. But what the heck are you doing? Don't you have something better to do than read this silly nonsense? Really, I'm glad you are still there. It means the world to me. I love you all and thank you all for still caring. And yes I really needed that crepe maker.
I like writing down my thoughts. It's therapy for me. I haven't done it for months but figured I better do something because I have replaced this therapy with shopping therapy. Before I talk about that I need to say that "I'm okay". It's my pat answer to "How are you doing"? I miss my Walt. Sometimes more than others but I just can't be sad. We had so many wonderful years that we might not have had if we believed what all the doctors said all of the time. I feed on the memories and move on.
Shopping therapy. It's so wonderful. Only problem is you have to have money. I wiggle around that pretty good. The most fun for me is the process more than the reward. Oh don't get me wrong. When I go to the post office and there is a key in my box to pick up that package or there is something on my doorstep when I get home or the doorbell rings and I don't have to talk to the UPS guy cause he's already back in his truck driving away I'm excited, but it's the shopping part that thrills me. (Thrill...that's a funny word).
Anyway, I decide I need something and it's on. Yes, need. Want doesn't factor in here or I would have to commit myself cause I want everything. Example: I needed a cover for my cell phone. They are outrageous at any store in town so Amazon here I come. I check out everything that fits my needs. Read the reviews, check out the rating on the seller, pick a color, pick the best price then click out of there. I have two options then. I can click on Ebates then back on to Amazon and buy my choice or click on MyPoints and back on Amazon. Now I have all of these things to occupy my time with this one little purchase. I check my email to see that Amazon got my order. They give me a tracking number and everyday I can see where my little package is. I check Ebates to see that they credited my "cash back" to my account or MyPoints to see if they gave me the points for my purchase. Check my PayPal account to see if they paid for my purchase. See? This is how you get through the lonely hours. With so much to do how can you have time to think about anything else. Shopping therapy in my world. Not to mention Infomercials!!!! I needed a vacuum cleaner. It took me weeks of research, but settled on the one on the late night TV. I waited until they offered extra gadgets for "free with your purchase today only" (yea right, same thing the next day) and only 3 easy payments. Put those payments in the budget and I love my new vacuum. Well, as much as you can love a vacuum.
So, vacuum, phone cover, toaster oven, tablet cover, vitamins, crepe maker, deep fryer, etc. later here I am bugging you again. I'm not watching infomercials or perusing Amazon. But what the heck are you doing? Don't you have something better to do than read this silly nonsense? Really, I'm glad you are still there. It means the world to me. I love you all and thank you all for still caring. And yes I really needed that crepe maker.
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